Link: All I Really Need (Ft. Kenzie May)
Baby, pull up bad as you wanna be
Goes on trips for the scenery
Take me with. Get me from my door, sir
But don't you dare come any closer
You've been chasing new things, fallin out of love with Molly
And I'm always with Mary, she don't like your good friend Charlie
You don't wanna be lonely, ain't that everybody
Appreciate your service, but I'd only hurt you, sorry
'Cause I'm not here to stay
Pass it, and I'll be on my way
No stems. No seeds, please
That's really all I need
That's really all I need
All I [all I need. all I, all I need] All I really need is
And a [and a bag bag bag] bag to go
Baby boy, tell me I'm all you need
As he sows his seeds in the greenery
And I'm a habit, don't wanna kick it
But I won't be just another mistress
'Cause you'll be missin' always. Say you're getting back with Molly
And you're sick of Mary. Says she don't agree with Charlie
You don't wanna be lonely, ain't that everybody
Appreciate your service, but I'll only hurt you, sorry
'Cause I'm not here to stay
Pass it, and I'll be on my way
No stems. No seeds, please
that's really all I need
that's really all I need
All I [all I need. all I, all I need] All I really need is
And a [and a bag bag bag] bag to go
And I don't care how high you are
Today they take me by surprise
I'm gripping on to where I think I should arrive
We lie so vacant in the dark
Take me now so I can't wake up
And drift away
And I don't care how high you are
Don't be on mine... inhale the dark
And I don't care how high you are
Don't wake me up till we arrive
And I don't (x16)
And I don't care how high you are
Don't be on mine...
And I don't care how high you are
Don't wake me up till we arrive
Link: Takin' Pills
She's on the highest dose of Prozac a woman can take.
She likes to pop her pain pills with every little ache.
She's got a Tennessee mountain point of view,
If you're gonna have one might as well have two.
Raised up right in the hills of Kentucky,
Although she ain't gonna smile 'til she lights up her Lucky.
No filter on her mouth or her cigarettes
Oh, baby, what you're lookin' at is what you get.
Yeah, we owe 400 dollars to the boys in the band,
Gas light's blinking on our broke down van.
We're living on truck stop burgers and fries,
Crossing our fingers for a vacancy sign.
Well, who in the hell is gonna pay these bills
When one's drinking, one's smoking, one's taking pills?
She's a rooting tootin' pistol from the Lone Star state.
She mixes up a double at the break of everyday.
She might get crazy but she don't get mean
Until some drunk cowboy asks her to sing.
She mixes up a double at the break of everyday.
She might get crazy but she don't get mean
Until some drunk cowboy asks her to sing.
Yeah, we owe 400 dollars to the boys in the band,
Gas light's blinking on our broke down van.
We're living on truck stop burgers and fries,
Crossing our fingers for a vacancy sign.
Well, who in the hell is gonna pay these bills
When one's drinking, one's smoking, one's taking pills?
Gas light's blinking on our broke down van.
We're living on truck stop burgers and fries,
Crossing our fingers for a vacancy sign.
Well, who in the hell is gonna pay these bills
When one's drinking, one's smoking, one's taking pills?
Well, we ain't ashamed of who we are.
We like fast men and cheap guitars.
Ain't trying to get rich just trying to get by
By playing for tips on a Saturday night
'Cause we owe 400 dollars to the boys in the band,
Gas light's blinking on our broke down van.
We're living on truck stop burgers and fries,
Crossing our fingers for a vacancy sign.
Well, who in the hell is gonna pay these bills
When one's drinking, one's smoking, one's taking pills?
Link: Dear Sobriety
My hands are shaking
But I can still pour the mistake that I'm makingWe like fast men and cheap guitars.
Ain't trying to get rich just trying to get by
By playing for tips on a Saturday night
'Cause we owe 400 dollars to the boys in the band,
Gas light's blinking on our broke down van.
We're living on truck stop burgers and fries,
Crossing our fingers for a vacancy sign.
Well, who in the hell is gonna pay these bills
When one's drinking, one's smoking, one's taking pills?
Link: Dear Sobriety
My hands are shaking
And I'll pour one more
It runs in my family, it runs in my blood
And just like my daddy, I can't get enough
Every last drop I say is the last
Then I drive to the store and I fill up my glass
Dear Sobriety
Please come back to me
I left you high and dry
I'm doomed for good this time
I swore I wouldn't be
I'm making a fool of me
I need you desperately
Dear Sobriety
Two years I gave in and I did not sway
And I swore to my family I'd keep it that way
Saved by the good Lord and hurt in their eyes
But life would back splatter and I compromise
If heartache won't kill you, you find something that will
And it turns out this battle is only uphill
Dear Sobriety
Please come back to me
I left you high and dry
I'm doomed for good this time
I swore I wouldn't be
Oh but I'm making a fool of me
I need you desperately
Dear Sobriety
Dear Sobriety
Please come back to me
I left you high and dry
I'm doomed for good this time
I swore I wouldn't be
Oh but I'm making a fool of me
I need you desperately
Dear Sobriety
Relapse and Cravings
90 Percent Have at Least One Relapse After Treatment
Similar relapse rates for alcohol, nicotine, and heroin addiction suggest that the relapse mechanism for many addictive disorders may share common biochemical, behavioral, or cognitive components. Thus, integrating relapse data for different addictive disorders may provide new perspectives for relapse prevention.
Impaired control has been suggested as a determinant for relapse, yet is defined differently among investigators. Keller suggested that impaired control has two meanings: the unpredictability of an alcoholic's choice to refrain from the first drink and the inability to stop drinking once started. Other investigators limit the use of "impaired control" to the inability to stop drinking once started. They suggest that one drink does not lead inevitably to uncontrolled drinking. Research has shown that severity of dependence affects the ability to stop drinking after the first drink.
Similar relapse rates for alcohol, nicotine, and heroin addiction suggest that the relapse mechanism for many addictive disorders may share common biochemical, behavioral, or cognitive components. Thus, integrating relapse data for different addictive disorders may provide new perspectives for relapse prevention.
Impaired control has been suggested as a determinant for relapse, yet is defined differently among investigators. Keller suggested that impaired control has two meanings: the unpredictability of an alcoholic's choice to refrain from the first drink and the inability to stop drinking once started. Other investigators limit the use of "impaired control" to the inability to stop drinking once started. They suggest that one drink does not lead inevitably to uncontrolled drinking. Research has shown that severity of dependence affects the ability to stop drinking after the first drink.
Several relapse theories utilize the concept of craving. Use of the term "craving" in a variety of contexts, however, has led to confusion about its definition. Some behavioral researchers argue that the idea of craving is circular, hence meaningless, since in their view, craving can only be recognized retrospectively by the fact that the subject drank.
They deemphasize physiological urges and stress the relationship between the behavior of drinking and environmental stimuli that prompt the behavior. On the other hand, Ludwig and Stark (5) find no problem with the term "craving": craving is recognized simply by asking whether a subject who has not yet drunk alcohol feels a need for it, much as one can inquire about another person's hunger before he or she eats. Ludwig and associates suggested that alcoholics experience classical conditioning (Pavlovian), by pairing external (e.g., familiar bar) and internal (e.g., negative mood states) stimuli to the reinforcing effects of alcohol.
This theory suggests that craving for alcohol is an appetitive urge, similar to hunger, that varies in intensity and is characterized by withdrawal-like symptoms. The symptoms are elicited by internal and external cues that evoke memory of the euphoric effects of alcohol and of the discomfort of withdrawal.
Physiological responses to alcohol cues have been described. For example, research has shown that exposure to alcohol, without consumption, can stimulate an increased salivary response in alcoholics . Similarly, skin conductance levels and self-reported desire for alcohol were correlated for alcoholic subjects in response to alcohol cues; the relationship was strongest for those most severely dependent. Alcoholics demonstrated significantly greater and more rapid insulin and glucose responses than nonalcoholics following the consumption of a placebo beer.
This theory suggests that craving for alcohol is an appetitive urge, similar to hunger, that varies in intensity and is characterized by withdrawal-like symptoms. The symptoms are elicited by internal and external cues that evoke memory of the euphoric effects of alcohol and of the discomfort of withdrawal.
Physiological responses to alcohol cues have been described. For example, research has shown that exposure to alcohol, without consumption, can stimulate an increased salivary response in alcoholics . Similarly, skin conductance levels and self-reported desire for alcohol were correlated for alcoholic subjects in response to alcohol cues; the relationship was strongest for those most severely dependent. Alcoholics demonstrated significantly greater and more rapid insulin and glucose responses than nonalcoholics following the consumption of a placebo beer.
Several relapse prevention models incorporate the concept of self-efficacy, which states that an individual's expectations about his or her ability to cope in a situation will affect the outcome. According to Marlatt and colleagues, the transition from the initial drink following abstinence (lapse) to excessive drinking (relapse) is influenced by an individual's perception of and reaction to the first drink.
High-Risk Situations
These investigators formulated a cognitive-behavioral analysis of relapse, positing that relapse is influenced by the interaction of conditioned high-risk environmental situations, skills to cope with the high-risk situations, level of perceived personal control (self-efficacy), and the anticipated positive effects of alcohol.
An analysis of 48 episodes revealed that most relapses were associated with three high-risk situations: frustration and anger, social pressure, and interpersonal temptation. Cooney and associates supported this model by demonstrating that, among alcoholics, exposure to alcohol cues was followed by diminished confidence in the ability to resist drinking.
Marlatt and Gordon (3,20) argue that an alcoholic must assume an active role in changing drinking behavior. Marlatt advises the individual to achieve three basic goals: modify lifestyle to enhance the ability to cope with stress and high-risk situations (increase self-efficacy); identify and respond appropriately to internal and external cues that serve as relapse warning signals; and implement self-control strategies to reduce the risk of relapse in any situation.
From NIAAA
An analysis of 48 episodes revealed that most relapses were associated with three high-risk situations: frustration and anger, social pressure, and interpersonal temptation. Cooney and associates supported this model by demonstrating that, among alcoholics, exposure to alcohol cues was followed by diminished confidence in the ability to resist drinking.
Marlatt and Gordon (3,20) argue that an alcoholic must assume an active role in changing drinking behavior. Marlatt advises the individual to achieve three basic goals: modify lifestyle to enhance the ability to cope with stress and high-risk situations (increase self-efficacy); identify and respond appropriately to internal and external cues that serve as relapse warning signals; and implement self-control strategies to reduce the risk of relapse in any situation.
From NIAAA
Signs and symptoms of withdrawal that have led me back to drinking or "pill popping" are in pink.
Withdrawal effects caused by sedative-hypnotics discontinuation, such as benzodiazepines, barbiturates, or alcohol, can cause serious medical complications. They are cited to be more hazardous to withdraw from than opiates. Users typically receive little advice and support for discontinuation. Some withdrawal symptoms are identical to the symptoms for which the medication was originally prescribed, and can be acute or protracted in duration. Onset of symptoms from long half-life benzodiazepines might be delayed for up to three weeks, although withdrawal symptoms from short-acting ones often present early, usually within 24–48 hours. There may be no fundamental differences in symptoms from either high or low dose discontinuation, but symptoms tend to be more severe from higher doses.
Daytime reemergence and rebound withdrawal symptoms, sometimes called interdose withdrawal, may occur once dependence has set in. Reemergence is the return of symptoms for which the drug was initially prescribed, in contrast, rebound symptoms are a return of the symptoms for which the benzodiazepine was initially taken for, but at a more intense level than before. Withdrawal symptoms, on the other hand, may appear for the first time during dose reduction, and include insomnia, anxiety, distress, weight loss, panic, depression, derealization, and paranoia, and are more commonly associated with short-acting benzodiazepines discontinuation, like triazolam. Daytime symptoms can occur after a few days to a few weeks of administration of nightly benzodiazepine use or z-drugs such as zopiclone; withdrawal-related insomnia rebounds worse than baseline even when benzodiazepines are used intermittently.
The following symptoms may emerge during gradual or abrupt dosage reduction:
Aches and pains
Agitation and restlessness
Akathisia
Anxiety, possible terror and panic attacks
Blurred vision
Chest pain
Depersonalization
Depression (can be severe),possible ideation
Derealisation
Diarrhoea
Dilated pupils
Dizziness
Double vision
Dry mouth
Dysphoria
Electric shock sensations
Elevation in blood pressure
Fatigue and weakness
Flu-like symptoms
Gastrointestinal problems
Hearing impairment
Headache
Hot and cold spells
Hyperosmia
Hypertension
Hypnagogia-hallucinations
Hypochondriasis
Increased sensitivity to touch
Increased sensitivity to sound
Increased urinary frequency
Indecision
Insomnia
Impaired concentration
Impaired memory and concentration
Loss of appetite and weight loss
Metallic taste
Mild to moderate Aphasia
Mood swings
Muscular spasms cramp or fasciculations
Nausea and vomiting
Nightmare
Numbness and tingling
Obsessive compulsive disorder
Paraesthesia
Paranoia
Perception that stationary objects are moving
Perspiration
Photophobia
Postural hypotension
REM sleep rebound
Restless legs syndrome
Sounds louder than usual
Stiffness
Taste and smell disturbances
Tachycardia
Tinnitus
Tremor
Visual disturbances
An abrupt or over-rapid discontinuation of benzodiazepines may result in a more serious and very unpleasant withdrawal syndrome that may additionally result in:
(Both of these pictures were taken during over-rapid withdrawal.)
Management
Psychological interventions may provide a small but significant additional benefit over gradual dose reduction alone at post-cessation and at follow-up. The psychological interventions studied were relaxation training, cognitive-behavioral treatment of insomnia, and self-monitoring of consumption and symptoms, goal-setting, management of withdrawal and coping with anxiety
With sufficient motivation and the proper approach, almost anyone can successfully withdraw from benzodiazepines. However, a prolonged and severe syndrome can lead to collapsed marriages, business failures, bankruptcy, committal to a hospital, and the most serious adverse effect, suicide. As such, long-term users should not be forced to discontinue against their will. Over-rapid withdrawal, lack of explanation, and failure to reassure individuals that they are experiencing temporary withdrawal symptoms led some people to experience increased panic and fears they are going mad, with some people developing a condition similar to post-traumatic stress disorder as a result. A slow withdrawal regimen, coupled with reassurance from family, friends, and peers improves the outcome.
According to the British National Formulary, it is better to withdraw too slowly rather than too quickly from benzodiazepines. The rate of dosage reduction is best carried out so as to minimize the symptoms' intensity and severity. Anecdotally, a slow rate of reduction may reduce the risk of developing a severe protracted syndrome.
Long half-life benzodiazepines like diazepam or chlordiazepoxide are preferred to minimize rebound effects, and are available in low potency dose forms. Some people may not fully stabilize between dose reductions, even when the rate of reduction is slowed. Such people sometimes simply need to persist as they may not feel better until they have been fully withdrawn from them for a period of time.
My Story:
I'll make it short and sweet.
I lapsed.
Let's just say writing about abuse one day, and a toxic relationship the next messes you up occasionally. (well the abuse does) No matter how long ago these took place, and that you are no longer in contact with the individuals. Reliving it awakens the nightmares.
The Difference Between a Slip and a Relapse
The Dangers of Relapse
Picking up alcohol or drugs again is always a bad choice for people in recovery. The extent of the damage caused by this will usually be determined by the speed by which people can quit again. Some individuals will be able to stop right away while others will rapid fall back into their addiction. In some cases those who return to their abuse will never manage to stop again – this means that their return to addiction is likely to be a death sentence. It is vital that those who relapse understand that they can still build a successful life in recovery. The sooner they can stop again the better it will be for them.
Picking up alcohol or drugs again is always a bad choice for people in recovery. The extent of the damage caused by this will usually be determined by the speed by which people can quit again. Some individuals will be able to stop right away while others will rapid fall back into their addiction. In some cases those who return to their abuse will never manage to stop again – this means that their return to addiction is likely to be a death sentence. It is vital that those who relapse understand that they can still build a successful life in recovery. The sooner they can stop again the better it will be for them.
The Difference between a Slip and a Relapse
A slip is considered to be a less serious occurrence than a relapse. Both events are negative, but they differ in the degree of impact they will have on the life of the individual. Slips are when people pick up alcohol or drugs after a period of sobriety but stop again almost right away. They might have had one night where they returned to their former behavior but realized right away that it was a mistake. As soon as they sobered up they were able to return to life in recovery. A slip is often a spur of the moment event and not something that the individual has been planning.
A relapse is far more serious than a slip because it means that the individual has returned to their former addiction. The word relapse means to fall again. It often starts off as a slip, but then progresses from there. This relapse may last for days or it could be longer than this. It may mean that the current attempt to escape addiction has been completely abandoned. The individual might never have another opportunity to give up alcohol or drugs. The person who relapses can easily end up right back where they started if they don’t stop quickly. The fact that the individual has experienced life away from alcohol or drugs may mean that addiction is more painful than ever.
A slip is considered to be a less serious occurrence than a relapse. Both events are negative, but they differ in the degree of impact they will have on the life of the individual. Slips are when people pick up alcohol or drugs after a period of sobriety but stop again almost right away. They might have had one night where they returned to their former behavior but realized right away that it was a mistake. As soon as they sobered up they were able to return to life in recovery. A slip is often a spur of the moment event and not something that the individual has been planning.
A relapse is far more serious than a slip because it means that the individual has returned to their former addiction. The word relapse means to fall again. It often starts off as a slip, but then progresses from there. This relapse may last for days or it could be longer than this. It may mean that the current attempt to escape addiction has been completely abandoned. The individual might never have another opportunity to give up alcohol or drugs. The person who relapses can easily end up right back where they started if they don’t stop quickly. The fact that the individual has experienced life away from alcohol or drugs may mean that addiction is more painful than ever.
How a Slip Turns Into a Relapse
Even a brief return to substance abuse is a big mistake for people trying to recover from addiction. A slip is a setback, but it doesn’t have to progress into a full-blown relapse. It is understandable that people will feel guilty and a bit ashamed of their slip, but feeling this way can also be highly dangerous – it also benefits nobody. They may convince themselves that all is lost and so the only option is to resume their addiction like before. This type of thinking is not only highly destructive, but it is also completely wrong. A slip can be the turning point in recovery because it indicates that people have been doing something wrong. If these individuals can learn from the incident it may mean that their recovery will be stronger than ever before.
How to Avoid a Slip Turning Into a Relapse
If people have a slip it means that their recovery is now on very shaky ground. In order to avoid a full-blown relapse they will need to take action such as:
* The most important thing is for the individual to not engage in any further alcohol or drug abuse. The thinking of the person who has slipped can be treacherous. They may believed that as they have already taken alcohol or drugs there is no reason not to use some more – the idea that they might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. They will promise themselves that they will stop tomorrow, but they can use the same justifications then. It is vital that people stop any further substance abuse right away.
* Those who belong to a support group should seek assistance right away. If they have a sponsor they can get in contact with this person for advice and support. They should get to a meeting as soon as possible. People do feel embarrassed that they’ve slipped, but it is crucial that they admit to it.
* In order to avoid relapse the individual needs to redouble their efforts in recovery. Staying sober has to once again become the priority in their life, and they need to be willing to do whatever it takes to stay free of addiction. They will need to learn more about the relapse process and relapse triggers, and how to avoid these.
* Slips often occur when people are bored in recovery. It is therefore advisable that they look at this and think of productive ways to fill their time.
* A slip always happens for a reason and if the cause is not found then it is likely to occur again. The individual needs to conduct an honest assessment of their recent behavior to see where they have gone wrong.
* Those people who have past recently through a rehab should make use of the aftercare services available.
Dealing with Relapse
Even a brief return to substance abuse is a big mistake for people trying to recover from addiction. A slip is a setback, but it doesn’t have to progress into a full-blown relapse. It is understandable that people will feel guilty and a bit ashamed of their slip, but feeling this way can also be highly dangerous – it also benefits nobody. They may convince themselves that all is lost and so the only option is to resume their addiction like before. This type of thinking is not only highly destructive, but it is also completely wrong. A slip can be the turning point in recovery because it indicates that people have been doing something wrong. If these individuals can learn from the incident it may mean that their recovery will be stronger than ever before.
How to Avoid a Slip Turning Into a Relapse
If people have a slip it means that their recovery is now on very shaky ground. In order to avoid a full-blown relapse they will need to take action such as:
* The most important thing is for the individual to not engage in any further alcohol or drug abuse. The thinking of the person who has slipped can be treacherous. They may believed that as they have already taken alcohol or drugs there is no reason not to use some more – the idea that they might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. They will promise themselves that they will stop tomorrow, but they can use the same justifications then. It is vital that people stop any further substance abuse right away.
* Those who belong to a support group should seek assistance right away. If they have a sponsor they can get in contact with this person for advice and support. They should get to a meeting as soon as possible. People do feel embarrassed that they’ve slipped, but it is crucial that they admit to it.
* In order to avoid relapse the individual needs to redouble their efforts in recovery. Staying sober has to once again become the priority in their life, and they need to be willing to do whatever it takes to stay free of addiction. They will need to learn more about the relapse process and relapse triggers, and how to avoid these.
* Slips often occur when people are bored in recovery. It is therefore advisable that they look at this and think of productive ways to fill their time.
* A slip always happens for a reason and if the cause is not found then it is likely to occur again. The individual needs to conduct an honest assessment of their recent behavior to see where they have gone wrong.
* Those people who have past recently through a rehab should make use of the aftercare services available.
Dealing with Relapse
Even if people have fully returned to their addiction they can still call a halt to their decent. The longer they leave this the harder it will be. Feelings of shame and failure are to be avoided because these just feed the addiction. The important thing is to look to the future. The time already spent in recovery will not be wasted so long as the individual can once again put a halt to the abuse. Perhaps the reminder of how bad things can be in addiction will mean that they are more motivated to stay sober in the future.
What I needed was my husband.
I prayed hard.
He walked in the door.
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